This baby is going to make sure I stay on my toes all the time!! This morning I woke up to find that I started bleeding. As soon as I saw it, I screamed for Jeff who came running. I tried to stay calm because our son was standing in the hall, but I didn't do such a good job at that. I started crying and praying to God that our baby was alright. I couldn't think as to what I should do, so I grabbed the phone and called my Mom. She told me to get dressed and go to the hospital right away. I know I should have called my doctor first, but panic set in and I just wanted a doctor to see me ASAP. The thought of having to drive the hour to our doctor's office and not know if our baby was still alive just wasn't an option for me. So my Mom rushed over to stay with Tyson and Jeff and I headed up to the hospital.
When we got there we had a short wait before the nurse came out to get us. She took us into the ER where she asked a bunch of questions, took my blood pressure, temperature and heart rate. She went over our medical history with our last pregnancy and after what seemed like forever, finally got us into one of the ER rooms. I changed into the gown while Jeff sat beside me. He was pale and nervous and I then realized we were in the same room he had been in with his Mother earlier in the week. His Mother is dying of cancer and he had to check her into the hospital. So here I was sitting in the ER, crying and wondering if our baby was alright and his Mom was in the opposite end of the hospital getting ready to say goodbye to us. As scared as I was, I also felt a huge weight of guilt thinking that I was only adding to his stress.
After a while the doctor finally came in and told me that if I was loosing the baby, there wasn't much that could be done. Again I started to cry and just prayed that everything would be fine. They asked for my blood type in case I should start to hemorrhage and told me that there was very little they could actually do. They would check my blood levels to see if I still had a high amount of HCG hormone and to make sure I didn't have some sort of infection. They would also do an internal exam to check to see if my cervix was thinning/dilating, but that was about all they could do at this hospital.
Our town hospital is not equip with any sort of OB care so this made it difficult in treating me. I knew this going in, but I thought for sure they could at least check on our baby. That's when Jeff asked if they could at the very least listen for a heartbeat. The doctor agreed and the nurse set out to find a Doppler. It took quite a while for them to even find one and even longer for the nurse to find our babies heartbeat, but it was there. Our baby's heart was beating strong and loud in the 150's and that's when I knew our baby was still alive. That's all I cared about and listening to that sound was a feeling that I can not describe. Relief, joy and emotions that I just don't have words for flooded through me. I knew then that everything was going to be alright.
After finding our babies heartbeat and the doctor reassuring us that he believed that everything was fine, I told Jeff to go down and check on his Mom. The doctor would call him back if we needed him, but I knew that he needed to be with her more. So he went down and I waited to have my blood drawn and exam done.
Thankfully everything turned out to be just fine. Our baby is still with us, praise GOD and the bleeding stopped. I am laying low today and probably for the next few days until our regular OB tells me what she wants me to do. I will call tomorrow when I know they are in the office, unless the bleeding should start again.
Today was a very scary day and made me realize that anything really can go wrong at any time. I can not wait until this baby is finally born into my arms where I can try to keep him/her safe. I feel so helpless right now with baby inside my stomach where I can't do anything to help him/her if need be. I know praying to God to keep our baby safe will also keep me sane for the next 5 months! Hopefully that time goes by quickly and our baby will join our family and be with us for the rest of our lives.