First I want to say that I am sorry because this update is a bit late. This is from my appointment on May 10th.
We returned to the doctor on Thursday to check on the growth of my follicles and how their developing with the current medications that I'm on. My doctor was hopping for 4 to 5 healthy follicles that would be ready to retrieve some time late next week, to early the following week. To all our our shock, the 4 or 5 that we wanted so badly joined a gang and brought along 10 or so of their friends to the party. The look alone on her face said it all. Not only did I have more than triple what she was hoping for, but they are maturing a lot faster than expected. Instead of going next Wednesday for another ultrasound to determine our retrieval date, I have to go back in this Saturday.
While I understand that having a lot of follicles will hopefully result in more mature eggs and more healthy embryos to choose from, I can not help but feel a certain amount of sorrow. My biggest fear in all of this was the possibility of having an excess of embryos. Not knowing if it will be possible to transport them back to the US, along with not knowing if I will be returning at all the following year, leaves us with little choice as to how to handle these precious gifts. The idea of simply destroying them is a pain that I can not begin to describe. While I knew from the beginning this could be a possibility, it feels altogether different now that it is my reality.
Jeffrey and I have a lot of talking to do these next few days. I pray for a decision that not only makes us happy but also allows me to not live without regret and guilt.
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