Egg Transfer

I had a three day embryo transfer on Saturday the 19th with two 8 to 9 cell embryos. They do not do the grading system here, so I am not sure what grade they were at. I do know that once again, the experience was very Korean.

Because I knew ahead of time that my husband would not be allowed to go in the room with me, I decided to go to this appointment alone. When everything was over, he would dive down to get me. There was no point in making him sit out in the waiting room for hours on end with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Besides, it was also on a Saturday so our son would not be in school and I couldn't imagine a more boring way to spend a Saturday then sitting in a room at a doctor's office.

To pass the time I brought along my new Kindle, but no sooner then I got it turned on and started to read that the women who I had become so close to during retrieval came over to say hi. I was hoping I would see her there, but I never imagined my luck would be that good. We talked about our recoveries from the last procedure and how nervous we were about this one. We also talked about the number of embryos we had that fertilized, I had 19 out of 20 and she had 8 out of 11. We both knew the odds were in our favor and we hoped for the best. 

Soon the nurse called our names over, along with 4 or 5 other women and we were taken back into the same room as the retrieval. We once again adorned our beautiful, short pink robes and were lined up in order in the small waiting area. This time I was first in line with my new friend right next to me. I was so nervous about going in first, but at least it would be over and the process trying to make a baby or babies could begin. 

When the nurse came out she called all of our names, not just mine. I guessed that this was going to be another group affair like my IUI. Oh well, at least I would have someone to talk to and possibly hold my hand. 

Sure enough we were all lined up and given a bed with our names written on a small white board above the pillow. At least I have learned to read my name in Korean. The beds this time were full, six women lay next to me while seven others were across from us, all with the hopes of getting pregnan. Not quite the way I had envisioned conceiving our next child, but hey, it's going to make for a great story someday. 

After we all got as comfortable as possible a nurse came in to go over some things with us. Once again my new friend was invaluable in translating everything for me. While we waited for the doctor to arrive to start the process, we were to relax as much as possible. The actual process would not take long at all, but we were to remain laying down for two hours following the transfer. Two hours! Wow now I am really glad I have someone to talk to!

 They dimmed the lights and turned on soft music and explained to us that we would be able to see our embryos on the small TVs that hung next to our bed right before they came in to do the transfer. After the transfer was over, we would each be given a photo to take home. I was really hoping for a photo, but actually being able to see them before they were placed back where they belonged, well that was something I could have never even dreamed of. It made me a little teary eyed just thinking about the possibility of seeing our two tiny miracles at such an early stage. How many women will ever get to say they saw their children when they were only a few cells old. 

We didn't have to wait long before the doctor came in and started getting everything ready. A portable ultrasound machine was wheeled over to my bed and I was asked to scoot to the end. As soon as I did, I turned to the TV waiting to see my little gifts from God. Unfortunately my TV was not working and once the nurse finally got it to, they were already getting ready to bring them in. I did however get a quick look at them on another TV in the room. It was amazing to see the two of them sort of floating around, then being sucked up into the small catheter. When the doctor walked in with them, I asked the women next to me to hold my hand. She held on tight and I started to pray that these two little embryos would implant and start to grow strong. I prayed that the pain from the retrieval process and the weeks of injections would be all worth it and that this would work. I prayed that our son would finally be the big brother he wanted to be so badly. I prayed that our babies would be healthy and happy and at that moment,  after seeing them, I fell in love with them. They were our babies, our tiny precious miracles, created under different circumstances but wanted and loved that much more. 

The actual process only took a few minuets and once it was done I was told not to move for the next five minuets. Now I understood why the other seven women that were across from us were placed behind a giant sheet. It was so we had a little bit of privacy and they could not just look over at us. 

Next it was my friend's turn and she was so nervous that it was going to hurt. I told her that I never felt anything and told her to try and relax. Soon her little embryo came up on the screen and we all watched as it floated around, holding all the potential in the world. Soon the doctor came in again with a large catheter and placed her embryo safely back where it can grow strong. 

Fourteen times in total I got to watch this process take place. Sometimes one embryo, sometimes two came up on our little screens. Some were a cluster of 8 or 9 cells while others were clearly already in the blastocyst stage. The most amazing one that we were able to see was one women had an embryo that was already dividing into natural identical twins. The doctors all pointed that one out and explained what was going on. It was amazing to see life happening at such a crucial moment. I couldn't help but cry, not only for myself but for each women that laid in that room with me. I cried for each one of those tiny embryos to grow strong and give life that was wanted so badly. 

After we were finished, the doctor that was working on the women across from us explained how he had gone to an IVF hospital in Poland and a study was done that proved that your odds for conception increased with laughter. So we were told to find something on the TV to watch or talk about something that would get us to laugh. To spend the next 24 hours laughing as much as possible and hopefully we would all have positive results. 

Laughing turned out to be the easy part really. I mean who else gets pregnant with fourteen strangers and a bunch of doctors. "Yes dear child, you were created in a giant conception orgy with only one women that I was actually able to even communicate with."  There was no problems with laughing, but at the same time I wished so much that Jeff could have been a part of this. That he too was able to see our tiny creations on the screen and to be there when our children were placed safely back in what I hope would be their home for the next 9 months. 

The next few hours passed quickly with lots of conversing, watching TV and even a nice lunch. Yup that's right, while laying in our bed, we were each given a bowl of nice hot rice porridge with seaweed and vegetables. It was really good, but I chose not to enjoy the tiny fish and kimchi that came with it. There's just something about those little fish looking up at me with their little dead eyes that doesn't scream YUMMY. 

After our two hour wait was over, we were told we could slowly get up and start moving around. While I chose to go out and get my phone to call my husband, my friend was a bit too nervous and wanted to give it more time before moving. So I went back into the dressing room, put my underwear back on to feel a little less exposed and called my husband. To my surprise he and my son were already out waiting for me. I told him that it would be another 20 to 30 minuets before we would be released after that I had to go home and rest for the next two days. 

When I got back into the other room to lay down, I told my friend that I would be thinking of her and that I hoped everything would work out. I feel so close to her and yet I knew that this may be the last time I ever saw her. Unlike in the US, people here are not so open about giving out email addresses or Facebook pages to keep in touch. I was sad that I might never know how things turned out for her, but in a way I think it was the perfect friendship. We were there when we needed each other most and we could go on believing that everything turned out perfectly for the other person. When it was time to go, we said our goodbyes and our good lucks and went our separate ways. I think I will always have a special place in my heart for this person because we shared something so personal with each other. It usually takes years to share everything that we did in the few hours that we were actually together, but those are hours that I will forever cherish. 

After everything was over and I was dressed, we left the office with a date of May 30th to come back for blood work. As long as we came before 11:30, we would be able to get our results that same day. Looking back I laugh at how much I was dreading that time, but after everything that happened, after getting so sick and having so many complications, I never got the chance to feel the anxiety of the time passing by. As soon as I finally started to feel better, my wait was over. But that's another story.