Trying to stay positive isn't easy during the long 2ww, but today my positive thoughts are few and far between. I woke up this morning with a headache, one of my almost fail proof signs of my impending AF showing up. That paired with the almost constant cramps and my hopes for this cycle finally working are going downhill fast.
I know cramping in early pregnancy is normal, and can even be a good sign, but these cramps feel so much like normal AF cramps that I just can't see them as something positive. It is to the point where I am avoiding going to the bathroom like the plague, as if I might be able to hold off the truth by not seeing first hand that AF has arrived.
I am still trying to hold onto hope and praying like crazy, but right now my mood is low. I finally broke down and told Jeff about the pains and he looked so sad. Like I had taken all of his hope away too.
I am going to spend the remainder of the day in bed resting, hoping that maybe the cramps are just a sign of pushing myself too hard today.
Please if you are reading this, please help us pray that these cramps are not the sign of AF coming but the sign that everything is changing because were pregnant. I want so badly for this to work, my heart hurts at the idea that it might not.
Ryann, I know how you feel. Staying positive is such a hard thing after this grueling journey. After the transfer was done I felt so negative. I was disappointed with our egg grading and thought everything had been going great until we got the five day report. I couldn't help but feel negative the days following. I prayed to God and said I was sorry for feeling this way. I didn't want to. I should feel blessed to even be able to venture into such a journey. I prayed and prayed and while I still sometimes get down I feel like its only normal for us to feel the way we are feeling. Look at what we have put our bodies through. Literally. Were only human and as much as people can say think positive sometimes that is just hard to do.
ReplyDeleteIm praying for you and those embies growing safely in your womb. There comfy and happy! Are you on progesterone? Im also feeling AF cramps and had a headache the other day. Im thinking positive for us! This is our time :)
I was on progesterone for each Clomid round, our IUIs and our Fresh IVF, but for some reason she said I didn't need it this time. I did a LOT of research online and found that taking progesterone during a frozen cycle can greatly increase your chance of live birth, so I started taking the stuff that I had leftover from last time. I am not taking any chances of this not working because I didn't do something. Fingers crossed, 2 more days until my blood work so nervous!!
ReplyDeleteYikes! I know what you mean about making sure you take every precaution! Im on so much progesterone, its a mess but so well worth it to keep a baby in the oven! I have a ticker on my phone and it tells me how many more days till our test. To tell you the truth im scared. Really scared. I think it hit me today. I do know that no matter what we will never give up but this is so grueling financially and emotionally. We went through our savings to get here. Im happy and very grateful we have some on ice but its so nerve wracking! Oh im praying for both of us Ryann!
ReplyDeleteI am also scared, trying not to think of it, but how are we not suppose to. I go in tomorrow for my beta test and I feel sick every time I think about it. I am trying to stay busy on here and with packing, but nothing really works.
ReplyDeleteWe have put so much into this!! It has been so hard, especially this past year. I don't ever want to give up, but at some point financially we will have to.
I have been thinking of you so often today. Wondering how you are doing with the 2ww. I pray that you and I both get BFP so that we not only have our dreams come true, but have someone to share every moment with!!