Today was my Hysterosalpingogram test and it was by far the most hysterical experience of my life!! Jeff, Mia and I arrived at the most amazing hospital around 3:00. I say amazing because this hospital does nothing but MRIs, CT scans and X-rays. I know that sounds impressive, but the truly remarkable part was that each doctor there not only does the test, but also read and give you the results at the same appointment! In the states I have had to wait up to 2 weeks to get the results from an MRI.
That was the amazing part, now for the hysterical part....
After we meet with the doctor, who spoke 0 English, to get an idea of what he was going to do, we walked up a few floors to where they would be doing the test. The only thing I could think about was Mia's lovely "quite painful" speech and repeatedly ask Jeff if he wanted to do it for me. After declining to "grow the equipment needed" I was called to the back, but before having the procedure that was now turning into a "small surgery," I had to change my clothes. Now I am 6 feet tall and no where close to the size of a normal Kore women, and yet they only had Korean sized gowns to provide. After a move that would have put any dancing with the stars hopeful to shame, I finally got into this "gown". Basically no more than a shirt, it barely came down enough to cover my belly button let alone the rest of my goodies. After a quick look in the mirror and a REALLY good laugh at myself I poked my head out of the door to tell Mia that I was ready. The nurse then comes over to get me so I can WALK down the hall to where the test will be done. Really? You want me to walk down the hall half naked in a shirt that looks like it was meant for my 6 year old, with slippers that again barely cover my toes down a hall with other people looking at me. Oh thank the Lord I will never see these people again!! Anyway I ran, holding my shirt down as much as possible to the little room, where the nurses were waiting. They then ask me to jump up on a cold metal table and lie down. Haha ok so there is no way possible to do this gracefully so I just closed my eyes and jumped. At least with my eyes clothes I could pretend no one was looking.
So now I am up on this table thinking, "ok any time you can give me a towel or something to through over my legs and cover me up a bit" but I guess that wasn't their priority. The next thing I know Mia comes in to hold my hand and explain again what the doctor is going to do. Wait, nope, not what he is GOING to do, what he IS doing. Poor Mia is standing there, holding my hand, with me knees in the air and baring everything for everyone while the doctor does his thing. As he is getting me ready he starts talking to her in Korean and apparently tells her how he is actually a bit nervous because he is unable to communicate with me. Nervous, really he is nervous!! So I turned to her, as the nurse is pumping my arm full or Morphine, and tell her he's not the one who should be nervous. I'm the one that is laying on the table half naked, feeling very exposed and still wondering how that "quite painful" thing is going to turn out. (Can I please note that the large amount of Morphine was not a in my book a positive indicator.) Dear sweet Mia, not knowing that comment was meant for her only, translates this to the doctor who, along with his nurses, starts laughing. Now there all laughing, in a good way I hope, but I'm starting to feel drugged and as though the room is spinning and now it's time for the actual X-ray part. Mia is then asked to leave the room and the doctor does his thing with the contrast and starts taking a bunch of x-rays. Now I am not sure what he though they injected into my arm, but sad to say it wasn't a good dose of know Korean instantly. All of a sudden he starts rapidly talking to me in Korean asking me to move and contort my body into different positions. I only know this is what he is asking me because when I don't comply, he actually grabs my backside and flips me over. Now the Morphine has really kicked in and the only thing I can do is laugh. I laughed from that moment until I almost somersaulted in the dressing room trying to get out of that little gown.
When we go back downstairs to the doctors office to get the results, I couldn't help but chuckle to myself knowing that this will probably be the appointment next discussed over a many shots of Soju. Thankfully though everything is completely normal and I even got to leave with a complementary copy of my x-rays. Only in Korea. :)
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