Tuesday, February 7, 2012

This would NEVER happen in the states!!

Trust me this is all worth reading!!!

    As I stated in my previous post, we finally found a fertility hospital and made an appointment to see a doctor. After almost 5 years of trying to conceive our second child, I figured it was finally time to seek some help. I had just started looking into fertility doctors before we decided to make our big move to Korea. Because everything was so new last year, we decided to put off trying for a bit. This year however, I feel as though I am much more knowledgeable about the hospitals, doctors and just life here in general. In other words, the idea of getting pregnant and giving birth here no longer terrifies the hell out of me.
After a little asking around and as much online research as we were able to do, we finally found a fertility hospital and a doctor. Because we knew that the receptionist spoke primarily Korean, we asked our wonderful school nurse to help us make an appointment. Needless to say I was a bit taken back when we were given an appointment for the very same day. That's the first thing that would never happen back in the states. The second thing is that our appointment time was "anytime before the office closed at 8:00pm".
Because we had been given the appointment so quickly, I figured it would be nothing more than  a simple consultation.. When we finally got to the hospital, at about 7:45 I was nice and calm I was scared out of my mind. Saying that you want another child and actually taking measures to almost ensure one are two entirely different things.  I had to keep reminding myself that if we wait until we are "ready" we will forever remain a one child family, not that there is anything wrong with that. I am completely in love with my son and if he is the only child we ever have, I will consider myself very blessed.
    Once we got up to the right floor, Jeff and I sat down while our school nurse and friend, we'll call her Mia, checked us in. When she joined us, she brought along all of the paperwork we would need to fill out. Now I am sure most of you have gone to see an OBGYN and know the type of questions ask on one of those very personal forms. Well this was not much different, except for the fact that I had to have someone else read off all of the questions and write the answers in Korean for me. Needless to say Mia got to know more about Jeff and I then I am sure she ever wanted to. At one point she just looked at the two of us and said she could not figure out how to translate the question into English. It wasn't until after she started to blush that we realized that she did know, she just didn't want to have to ask it. After a few moments and a little pep talk to herself about being a medical professional and simply asking us from the point of view of a nurse, she finally got it out.
"How many times do you and Jeff have sex in a week"
She did a wonderful job until she had to start listing off the possible boxes to check.
                   1. Two or more times a week.
          2. At least once a week.
                     3. Two or more times a month.
4. Not very often.
    We all acted like adults  we all started blushing and laughing like school kids during the sex-ed portion of health class. Mia couldn't even bring herself to check on of the boxes and handed the clipboard to Jeff. After he finally checked one of the options, she put her hand over the answers so she didn't have to see it. Little did we know that would only be the beginning. The questions to follow were along the lines of, Is your sex life enjoyable, Is their pain when you have sex, Does there appear to be a lot of sperm when you...., Do you have any issues with your "area", Was there ever any trauma to your "area".  
    The three of us sat on that little bench crying with laughter until we were finished answering every embarrassing question possible, or so we though. At least I was no longer nervous about actually meeting the doctor. Thankfully we had just started to really compose ourselves when the nurse came to get us. After a quick check of my blood pressure, it was time to go meet the doctor, whom thankfully was a female. She was very nice and tried as best as she could to communicate everything in English, but wasn't quite clear enough, so we had to ask Mia to come in to interpret. Nothing embarrassing was asked this time our doctor proceeded to ask every possible sexual question that they missed on the paperwork. Once that was finally over the three of us couldn't even lift our head to look at each other. The doctor then told me that they would be doing a series of tests including the normal blood work, urine test, ultrasound and PAP. I honestly had NO CLUE that she meant RIGHT NOW!! Thankfully I had at least shaved that morning, but I was sure since I had just started my period the day before, even though my cycle lasts a maximum of two days, we would have to reschedule. Nope, unlike in the states, this doctor says there is no problem with that at all and she would still DO THE TESTS!!!! Ok so now I am really sweating when Mia looks at me, starts to giggle and says "have fun". How am I suppose to get nervous with that. Thank you Mia. 
    So while Jeff and Mia are still talking to the doctor, I head off to the other side of the curtain behind Jeff and Mia, alone. The nurse pointed me to a second little curtain in the corner and told me to change into the beautiful pink skirt provided. But first I had a question, so I stepped out and asked the nurse if I needed to just undress from the waist down. Please note that every first appointment I have ever gone to like this it was always a FULL physical. But thankfully no not this time. The nurse laughs at me and with a very scared look in her eyes says no and pushes me back behind the curtain. Now it's time to put on the little skirt, the one that I am now desperately trying NOT to think about  how many other women have worn today. When I am done, I start to walk toward the scary chair with the built in stirrups. As soon as I do the nurse starts to laugh at me, pushes me back once again and points to the slippers on the floor.
Silly me, why didn't I think of putting the size 4 slippers on my size 11 feet to walk exactly 4
steps from the "dressing area" to the chair. Once seated in the chair she again laughs as she tells me to remove the slippers from my overly large feet before placing them in the stirrups. Silly me of course it's rude to wear your slippers in the stirrup chair. So I am finally in the chair with my feet up and the nurse tells me "You go back", so I try to push myself back in the chair, but there really is no were for me to go. Once again the nurse starts to laugh and shakes her head and says again "No, you go back now". Ok I have no idea where I am suppose to go so I look at her shrug my shoulders and wait for her to show me. She laughs even harder and this time pushes a button that lifts the chair and tilts me back until my altogethers are hanging out for everyone. Thankfully she draws a curtain that cuts me off mid section so I can't see them and they can't see me. I heard the doctor come in, wash her hands and tell me that were about to begin. She is so sweet and tries as best she can to talk to me in English to let me know what she is doing, but she couldn't figure out how to say a few things. Thankfully she finally figured out the word speculum before having to bring in Mia. Now that would have been the moment where I am pretty sure she would have retired from DIS.
    In the mean time I am realizing that unlike in the states, the doctor that is now examining me is not wearing any gloves! Apparently no one does here in the great country of Korea, but this was really pushing it for me. I sat there completely in awe and just praying for it all to end quickly. So after a PAP  and an ultrasound to diagnose me with sever PCOS, I was finally free to get dressed and go back out with Jeff. The doctor quickly explained that I would also be giving a urine sample and blood before I left, but first gave me two different medications to try to get me to ovulate and regulate my cycles. Thankfully the woman who drew my blood was a true saint and was very kind with my fear of needles. I don't think I have ever in my life had anyone as wonderful as her. I never even felt the slightest pinch from that needle, and for that I completely fell in love with her, even if she also didn't wear gloves.
At least when that was finally over we could go back home, and even though Mia did not take the same taxi with us when we left, I think she would be more than happy to go with us again. Just as long as none of us have to look the other in the eyes.



*Chuseok is like Thanksgiving in Korea. It's the celebration of the harvest.


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