Telling friends and saying thank you.

I was not sure how to tell everyone what had happened. I knew that a few people here at the school had heard that I had to have surgery and were nervous that something was really wrong. I knew Jeff would be strong enough for me to tell everyone but I couldn't put him through that. I couldn't make him face one person after another and tell them how we all looked at that screen to our tiny baby only to be told there was no heartbeat.  To tell everyone my heart was broken and I didn't know how to fix it. 

I know it may seem tacky to a lot of people, but I chose to post it on facebook. That way I was able to tell everyone at the same time and not have to get that "I'm so sorry" look from everyone. I was able to tell them and just lay in bed trying to heal. I was able to tell everyone and cry into my pillow and not have anyone stand there and have to watch me. Everyone here has been so amazing and supportive and I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to work with. Even when a few brought me down, the rest were there to pick me up. I am grateful for them and even more so for having my parents here with me. I don't know what I would have done if they were not by my side. The first few days after I was in so much pain and I wanted to stay in that bed and drown myself in shock and heartache. If it wasn't for Tyson, my parents and those around me I don't know if I would have ever left that bed. For those who came to see me, sent flowers or kind words, I will never be able to thank you enough in person. I couldn't do it without becoming emotional and I don't want to do that to you. For Mia, you have been there through every step from the first moment to the last. I hated having to put you there, having to see you hurting with us but I can't ever thank you enough for helping us through this. I know that when we are ready to try again you will once again stand with us because that's the amazing person you are. Thank you for not only being our nurse, but our friend!!!